


Perfect Ecstasy

by MissCharlotteXavier



Series: Reverb/Perfect Ecstasy [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, please check notes for sensitive material
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:31:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCharlotteXavier/pseuds/MissCharlotteXavier
Summary: There isn't a way to put it into words, what this was. It just was. And what was, wasn't enough.-This work is part two of Reverb/Perfect Ecstasy. These can be read in any order, but I recommend reading Reverb first.Okay, on with the show.





	1. Chapter 1

1:53 AM

"Are you sure you want this?” I asked, hesitant. It had taken me more than three hours to convince him to do this; I don't know why I was questioning it now.

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away from me. He was shaking, his nerves getting the best of him again.

"Yes, Sean, I'm fucking sure. Just do it.” He growled in return. It wasn’t the most confident response I’d ever heard, but it would do. I laughed and sighed, taking his hand and making sure the needle was free of air bubbles one last time before I looked for a vein good enough to stick it in. I wasn’t trying to kill anyone, after all. He flinched and squeaked as the needle punctured his skin. He was so new to this and it was so fucking cute that I had to laugh as I gently pushed the plunger down. I waited a beat or two before I pulled the empty needle out of his arm and setting it down on the bedside table, then reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand.

Silence filled the room, all I could hear was his breathing and the faint sound of rain hitting the window. For all it was, this was a perfect moment. I let it sit as it was, rubbing his cheek with my thumb, biding my time. But he was going to go numb, so back to reality.

"All done.” I smiled, taking my hand from his face and removing the belt from his arm. 

He opened his big, blue eyes and looked down at me from his seat on the bed, already hazy, his expression sliding away from fear and into pure bliss as the chemical flowed through him.

"How do you feel?” I asked, holding his hand. He just grinned and took me by my hair, tugging me off of the floor and onto the bed with him, crashing his lips to mine in a sloppy kiss, pulling me down with him as he sunk back onto the pillows. 

Smiling, I pulled away from him, slid back down onto the floor and grabbed the needle from the table and began to make my own hit. I know, don't share needles blah blah blah whatever blah. I know. Fuck it. I know he’s clean.

When everything was ready, I looked back up to him, his face peaceful as he stared straight through me to the wall behind me with heavily-lidded eyes. He was fucked out of his mind. I set the needle aside and crawled to him.

"Garrett? Are you still here?” I whispered, rubbing his cheek with my thumb, brushing his dark hair out of his face.

"Mm.” He nodded, smiling.

"Can you talk to me?”

He thought for a second, nodding again.

"Mm.”

"You alright?”

He paused, connecting his eyes to mine, giving me a half-assed smile. He was new to this drug and couldn’t push through it, I knew that he wasn't there and we weren’t really connecting, he was just babbling. He was always babbling.

"I love you, Seanie." He softly smiled.

"I love you more than anything.” I grinned, my heart skipping a beat. He pulled me into another kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth and wrapping his arms around my neck, sighing and squeezing me gently.

We stayed connected at the lips until I felt him go limp. I pulled away from him and made sure he was propped up by the pillows so that when he came down off the high and threw up he wouldn't choke and die. He smiled listlessly at me, sliding his clouded blue eyes shut and rambling on and on as I shot up, practically orgasming as the heroin flooded through my veins. I stood, wobbling slightly before I walked over to him as best I could without falling over. I pushed his hair back from his face and kissed him on the forehead, leaving him to lie alone in chemically-produced ecstasy.

I slunk slowly down the hallway to my own room, breathing deeply and evenly as the drug began to take total effect. I shut the door behind me, resting against the impossibly smooth, cool wall. I smiled to myself as I licked my lips, they still tasted like his minty chap stick, my hair smelled like the lotion he had on his hands. I slid down the wall, crumpling peacefully on the floor, slipping out of consciousness and into a blissful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

7:45 AM

I woke up with a throbbing headache, my stomach churning painfully, the taste of vomit in my mouth. I blinked hard, my eyes watering and stinging.

“Ugh…fuck.” I muttered, using my dresser to pull myself up. There was yelling downstairs, nothing was registering yet. My brain was too foggy to catch the words, only vague traces of words and glass breaking.

Slowly, stiffly, and painfully, I crawled to the window, resting my forehead on the sun-warmed glass, watching Garrett’s little blue car roll its way down the road as I heavily regretted letting myself collapse on the floor to sleep. 

I pulled myself up, forcing my body to move me towards the door. My head spun and my stomach churned again, acid rising in my throat. I rushed to the bathroom, my body finally cooperating, but nothing came up other than water and thick yellow bile. I stood in front of the sink, sweating, cramping, hating myself. The screaming continued downstairs. With a deep breath, I splashed my face with cold water, gulping a few handfuls, and quickly brushed the taste away. The screaming still dragged on.

With a sigh and all of the strength I could get, I followed the screaming and found my bandmates, Trevin and Matt, at each other’s throats in the kitchen.

“Hey!” I yelled, my throat painfully raw and my voice rasping, “Shut the fuck up!”

They stopped and stared at me for a moment, Matt scoffed at me, and they continued yelling.

“I said shut the fuck up!” I demanded. 

“But he has no right to—“ Trevin gestured to Matt, who scoffed again. 

Trevin shouldn’t talk back to me. I said shut up, I meant shut up. I cut him off with a hard smack to the back of his head. Matt’s eyes widened, he looked momentarily like he’d step up, intervene, correct my actions. Instead, he made his escape out of the back door.

Trevin looked back at me, shocked, opening his mouth to protest. I took a fistful of his hair and yanked him close to me.

“What part of shut the fuck up do you not understand, Trevin?” I growled. He panted, eyes full of tears that were threatening to fall.

“I—I just—“He whispered, his voice cracking.

Ah, fuck me, dude. This was probably a bit much. Way too far.

“Oh, Trevin…shit. I’m sorry, man. ” I sighed, pulling him into a hug. ”I didn’t mean it.”

“I know. I know you don’t. It’s okay.” He smiled softly- sadly, maybe- rubbing the back of his head, a stray tear falling down his face. He squeezed me tight and sniffled. 

Fuck, I am such an asshole.

I kissed his cheek and pulled away.

“Yeah. I totally crashed and burned last night.” I rubbed my face, exhausted. It wasn’t his fault and I knew that.

“I know. You’re upset, you don’t feel good. Why don’t you go back to bed?” He smiled again, “Get some rest, I’ll have some coffee ready and wake you up.” 

I nodded and pulled him into another hug. I’m really very grateful for him. I know it doesn’t seem it, but I adore this kid to the point of doting on him. He’s the greatest person in the world. I’d be lost if not for him.

I left him to do his thing, stopping by Matt’s room to grab the stuff I’d left in there the night before. I noticed Garrett’s hoodie lying on the floor and picked it up, pressing my face to it. It smelled just like him…smoke, deodorant, and the faint smell of faded cologne. I sighed and held the hoodie to my chest, closing my eyes and imagining him in the worn and soft black fabric, standing here in my arms. I took it to my room with me, folding it and laying it on top of the pillow next to me. I’d return it that night, but for now, it was mine.

Staring idly at the wall, I thought hard about Trevin. He was such a good kid. If angels existed, he definitely was one. Why did he always put up with me? He didn’t deserve any pain, but truth be told, he was a painfully easy target. He practically had ‘please abuse me to no end’ etched into his chest. I knew I should be a better person, be gracious to him the way he deserved. Treat him better. He was the baby in the band, from the moment he joined he was over the moon just to be involved, so eager and bright and so fucking talented and there was something in me that just wanted to smash and break him. He was resilient, though, and took everything thrown his way and kept rolling somehow, both my most and least favorite thing about him. Garrett aside, he was my best friend, my rock, and I was a class-A dickbag for the way I treated him.

Closing my eyes tightly, I took a deep breath and buried my face in the pillows. I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t stop thinking.


End file.
